The way I see things. The way others see things. The way the world sees things. 

I am at a crossroads in life. The prison journey is almost over. I’m realizing how different everything will be. How different everything is. 

From my point of view, I’ve learned a lot. I came. I saw. I not only conquered but became better than I could’ve ever imagined. I molded myself into an introspective person, someone who thinks, feels, and expresses genuinely. 

I believe in myself and believe that I’m on a path to performing my true purpose in life. That I’m capable of creating change in this world, leaving a legacy of loving the people I come in contact with and using my natural strengths of leadership and charisma to create a new narrative around prison and addiction. Living a life full of meaning is the only way I’ve made it through this all.

Today I experienced a moment where a simple phrase allowed me a glimpse into my future. Everything about me—who I was, who I am, who I will become—was discredited by someone who once loved me, someone who forever changed my life. Their words?

“From jail.”

The context was clear. I am dangerous, suspicious, and I make others feel uncomfortable. Where I am, who I am on paper, changes everything for some people.

I’m not going to lie, it hurt me. It made me feel inadequate and completely misunderstood. It made me feel like I needed to explain myself, that I meant no harm. In fact, quite the opposite. This event made me sit and think and reflect. It made me see how the world is really going to be towards me, a felon trying to have a voice. While I’m hopeful that many will take me at face value and allow me to show the growth I’ve attained, I understand that reality is much different. I won’t have it that easy. I will have to fight and claw to make myself heard, but I’ll also have to step back.

I have to be willing to accept that others have the right to perceive me and my actions however they choose. I have to be willing to walk away when that is what is best.