It’s hard to know where to start or finish this story. I’m going to try to focus on my thoughts about prison before I got here and what it was really like when I arrived.
Leading up to prison, I did a decent amount of research and had met some guys who had been down. I knew that going to a Federal Prison Camp was not going to be like the movies where rape and gang violence are prevalent. In order to make it to a camp, you cannot have a crime deemed violent, sexual, or a sentence longer than 10 years. Even though I knew these things, I was still scared. The fear of leaving my family, my daughter, the people that I loved—was crippling. It almost feels like you are dying. I think being forgotten was the biggest fear I had. I remember on the way to self-surrender I completely broke down. I talked to my mom and sister for the last time and having to tell my mom that I knew I would be ok and that I needed her to be strong was so excruciating. I was sobbing in the car, my chest felt like it was going to collapse. The only thing I kept telling myself was that I would find a way to be ok. I knew that once I found someone to make me laugh it would be better. I knew I would make friends with someone and it would all come together. When you arrive to prison, they put you in a white jumpsuit while everyone else is wearing green clothes or grey sweats. To say you stick out is putting it mildly. I was put in a cell with two other guys. At a Camp, there are no doors on the cells. It is an open dorm with two TV rooms, a quiet room that resembles a small classroom, a resource center that is basically a small library, a game room with three round tables that have four seats attached, a microwave room, a laundry room, and a bathroom. The bathroom has eight stalls, eight urinals, and sixteen showers. When you first get there, the guys your race give you everything you need. Some old shoes, a rag tag outfit, some hygiene essentials, and maybe a snack. People come and introduce themselves and try to make you feel comfortable. As weird as it sounds, these people become your family. The struggles you go through daily are struggles only they can truly understand. I met a couple of friends who I knew would be by my side. One was a great athlete and the other was a guy who tried. Together, we became inseparable and it really helped me through this time. When they made me laugh the first time, I knew I would be fine. Prison is hard, but it’s not what you may think it is. The lessons you learn here can truly change your life.