This story begins in a bar in downtown Greenville. Back in these days, I was relatively newly single, living with my best guy friend, selling weed, and bartending. To say I was living the bachelor life would be an understatement. I’m buying drinks, having a great time with friends, trying to decide which girl on the rolodex was coming back with me that night. All of a sudden, this girl shows up that I have never met. She was acquaintances with my roommate, through the mother of his child, and the way she approached me quite honestly scared me. I think most people have the perception that only guys can be creepy but, let me tell you, that is far from the truth. She was far from my type. I immediately knew that I had to find a way to get out of the situation. I rounded up my friends and we headed back to my house.

I had a girl

that I knew I would be with that night. I was content with how I thought the night would end. My roomate had decided to go home with a girl so it was just myself, the girl I was with, and a few other friend’s. We are chilling at my house, smoking weed and drinking, when I hear a knock at my door. I wasnt expecting anyone so I was a little worried who I would find. I opened the door and here was the girl I had done everything to avoid. She quickly explained she had texted my roomate and he had told her to swing by. He was setting me up because he knew how she was. Awkward could not begin to describe the way the night went from there, this girl was desperate for me and I had no interest whatsoever. By this point everyone was thoroughly intoxicated and some found joy at my predicament. We had started making food and the party continued. I sat in the living room trying to make it clear I was only interrested in the girl I was with. By this point everyone was avoiding this girl at all costs, she was drunk, sloppy, and apparently hungry. My friend got up from the couch to go check on her in the kitchen. She looked around the corner and immedately came back laughing. We all got up so we could see what was happening. She had taken out a pound block of sharp chedder cheese and microwaved it to melt it, using her meaty paws to grasp the entire block she dipped it in a plate full of ketchup and devoured it. The shock and awe in the room could be felt. We retreated from the kitchen and fell out laughing. I figured it was time so I took my girl to my room and locked the door. The cheese girl then knocked on my door for hours, she listened to the moaning, slapping, and clapping while seated on the floor outside my door. Here’s to you cheese girl, you will truly never be forgotten.